Wednesday, 14 March 2012

Burning that Bra . . .
When I step back and look at my life, I must admit I am happy with it. Great husband, lovely house (well I think so anyway), okish job . . . but realistically, I still want more. I still want to be able to hold down that job, have a family and be home in time to cook a dinner . . . isn’t that what being a woman is all about? The never ending run of multi-tasking?
Isn’t that what women burnt their bras for, campaigned for the pill and the vote for? For more equality, independence and choice as women?
In essence, we have so much more in our lives, but to what cost, and to what effect? We still see cases of discrimination in the workplace, and up until last year (when I experienced my first case of sexual discrimination), I had lived in a bubble, where I truly believed I was equal to any man (completely down to my fantastic upbringing) . . . It’s not until you have first-hand experience of this antiquated way of thinking that it really makes you consider it. . . I was honestly shocked that someone still thought that way . . . it shook me to my core . . .
However, as well as feeling equal, and completely in charge of my career and body, I do have that feeling of guilty pleasure in home making – at Christmas I was so excited about getting a Kenwood mixer, that I could audibly here feminists of times gone by turning over in their graves . . .
But why should I feel this way . . . they gave me the ability to have this life where I could choose to do what I wished and when, to be financially independent, and in control of my reproductive system. Surely that’s no bad thing . . . I thank them for that!
That is until you read an article like the one in today’s Daily Mail  (yes I appreciate that it is in the Daily Mail, but realistically the argument here is that they still obviously think that there is a market for this kind of article!)
It focusses on the fact that nowadays many women cannot perform simple household tasks, and that they aren’t being passed down to the next generation. Based on the list of skills I was glad to say that I can do most of them (starching a shirt still eludes me, but hey ho, Mr Seeded can whistle for that . . .)
I do think it’s bad that I will throw away a pair of socks, rather than darn them, and perhaps buy pre-made pastry if I run out of time . . . but actually that is of little consequence . . .
Because I am able to work, and have financial independence, I have so much more to offer the community I live in as a whole, and gives me the opportunity to explore areas of interest to me i.e. crafts, travel, books etc.  simultaneously feeding the economy in a recession . . .
If buying pastry is a bad thing, well so be it . . . I am not going to be a slave to a 1950s view of home (although I reserve the right to wear a chichi pinni if I so choose), just because a group of researchers say that certain skills are being lost. If people really needed these skills, they would make time to learn them, but realistically there are other alternatives avalaible now.
Articles like this highlight the clashes in many women’s lives (in that they feel they can’t do it all, although they really want to), thus highlighting our potential short comings as home makers and carers, and thus degrading us further . . .
Instead of an article highlighting our failings, how about one which looks at what men can now do, and the drive towards equality in everything . . . Mr Seeded loves to cook, is not too bad about popping on a wash, and could sew on a button if push came to shove . . .
Wouldn’t that be a better way of highlighting what society has gained, rather than what we are losing?
And if Mr Seeded and I are lucky enough to have a family, it will be down to both of us to pass these learnt skills on to future Seedlings, as a joint family unit.
Rant over ;) Thanks for sticking with it, if you did . . . ;)
Much love, Ax


  1. A good post- It is difficult getting the other two (sons) in my house to pull their weight. The eldest even said that it wasn't his job to go shopping!! Just because I work at home most of the time and do the housework as I couldn't stand seeing it not done....

  2. A fabulous blog :)

    I always feel like I never have enough time in my day to do everything I feel I ought to in order to be a perfect wife.

  3. It's so true your comments. Well said.

  4. I agree with what you say, we should not feel under pressure to fit into any category, the whole point is we have a choice and yes you and hubby will work together to raise your children, excellent I say, carry on the good work and don't feel guilty! xxx

  5. jeeze.. now women need to give up an income to make the children cakes and pastries... will we ever win?

    Seriously though you've hit the nail on the head. Why are these types of articles always so negative. What about teaching children the importance of hard work and equality, or giving them opportunities that weren't available to most families "back in the day"?

    But like you say, it is the Daily Mail.

  6. Great post as ever, I will not be made to feel guilty about buying ready made pastry. My point is, I can make pastry, i can follow a recipe (I can use my Kitchen Aid food processor to do it - I cried when I got it for my birthday) but sometimes, I am busy, I don't have time so I choose to buy ready made. Doesn't mean the skill of pastry making is gone! C x

  7. Fab blog & very thought provoking....
    Jo. x

  8. PS: Forgot to say - I'm Jo, known as Crafty Gifts & Cards on facebook.