What was the best thing about this past working week? Clocking out on Friday afternoon . . .

Im not sure what the Gods were doing, or what planets were aligned with whom, but jeez, I have never seen so many emotional moments all come at once . . . and Im not just talking about me . . .

Next week, will be better, and I will make it better . . .

How are you all?

Ax

Stalemate . . .

'Everything you need comes to you in perfect time, space and sequence . . .' - Louise Hay

If the above quote is true, then life can be truely testing at times . . .

If I was a piece of bread, I would be one of those slices you find right at the back of the breadbin, when all you really want is a hot buttered slice of toast . . .  totally disappointed  . . . with bits of green and white mould on . . . not a pretty analogy, but I really do feel like that . . .

My ideas are stagnent, and my general demeanour is a bit crunchy . . . I feel like Im on the tip of an iceberg, but can't just get over it . . .

What to do?

I'm just biding my time, hoping that everything is fitting together, in exact perfection . . . and thats all I can do . . .

Im just trusting . . .

Mother of Pearl

I love mother of pearl, and always have done . . .


Since I was little, I would sit and stare at the beautiful colours that were reflected back at me, and get lost in them . . . I loved their texture, the smoothness, and the cool nacre that would warm to the touch . . . 


The first mother of pearl I remember was of my grandmothers - she had a wonderfully 1950s jewellery box, that was decorated in slithers of mother of pearl inlaid in-between ebony black wood . . . I have no idea where it came from, nor where it went since, but it remains in my memory, as did the song it played . . . what its title was eludes me, but I can still hear its tinkling tune now . . . 


The next was the most fabulous paste and mother of pearl jewellery set she had - it was just so old school glamour, and she used to let me dress up in it . . . How grown up I felt, being able to clip the earrings on myself . . . she used to pile my hair up in a chignon, and powder my nose - as close to make-up that I ever got to when I was little!


I am so pleased to say that she gave them to me when I was old enough to really appreciate them, and although a little bashed around as I used to wear them to university balls, I still love them dearly . . .

And now, I have my button collections . . . Oh! I could spend all day looking at them, and turning them this way and that . . .

Mother of pearl buttons are made from the nacre of mollusk shells mainly, and the history of their development is fascinating - have a look at this link for a little more information:-

http://www.burdastyle.com/blog/mother-of-pearl-buttons-a-uniquely-american-triumph


In fact, they were the first buttons I ever had in my collection, and although I have become a bit of a button slut (in that I love any kind to pieces), I always go back to the beauty that is Mother of Pearl . . .


No matter what I will keep coming back to mother of pearl, and whenever I see a pile of fabulous mother of pearl buttons, my fingers start to itch!


How about you?


Much love, Ax

The act of a master juggler . . .

So, its been a while since my last blog, as to be honest, I had no idea where I would be a month down the line from my last post . . .

I had been completely torn over starting the new job, and wanting to carry on with the buttons to the extent that I was . . . I had a conversation with the fabulous Marna from Little A Designs, where I said that I felt like my inner child had been fed fizzy pop and sweets all day, then been told to go to bed . . . I just wanted to throw a massive tantrum, and do what I wanted to do, rather than the grown up thing to do . . .

I have met so many wonderful people via the buttons and Facebook, that it just didn't seem right . . . Yet the overwhelming feeling of letting people down, and letting the button page drift away was just so intense, I just didn't want to part with it yet . . .

Ive now been in the job for a month, and all seems to be going well - its busy, but I have time to do things, and there is a post office on site, so I know I can pop things in the post to you all regularly . . .

I have also come up with a set of commitments to you and the button page, so I can ensure I am fulfilling my side of the bargain . . . 

1. There will be a weekly button sale, and if I can't make it, I will update it accordingly
2. These sales, and any others, will all be in the events page, so you can see when they will be
3. I will endeavour to get the invoices out within 24 hours
4. I will reply to emails within 24 hours, but if you haven't heard from me, please do give me a nudge!
5. I will be open and honest with you about my workload, and if I can't do it, will tell you so
6. I also want to try and do a monthly web chat - would anyone be up for that?

In return, I hope you will be open and honest with me - is that a fair swap ;)

I just hope you are all still out there . . . Are you?

Much love, Ax

Granddaddies Little Girl Part 2

 


So, it’s taken me a bit of time to write this one, due to one thing or another, and it’s taken me a bit of time to think about this very complex man, and group together my memories of him . . .

Granddad Ted was born into a family of birdcage makers in Covent Garden (how romantic does that sound!) and when he was old enough, worked with his father in the market as a green grocer. There were seven children in total, six boys and one girl, and the sense of family camaraderie really always came through. They would go off 'Hopping' in the summer, living in tin huts in the then Garden of England, Kent. Picking hops, singing songs, and eating good food, building up their strength for the harshness of a London winter. . .

I once asked him if he knew his grandparents, and where they had lived. ‘In the house that backed onto ours,’ he said, ‘but we didn’t really see them . . .’
‘Why?’ I had asked.
‘Well my Grandfather pushed my Grandmother down the stairs and killed her, so we just didn’t!’ What a startling revelation and one that I didn’t, and haven’t still, pursued.

In the war, he was still too young to join up initially, but then became a driver in Bletchley, the home of the code breakers.

Soon after the war, he married Betty, and along came two boys, one of them my father. Because of dad’s weak chest, the doctors advised them to move out into the countryside to the fresh air, and so they did, to the new town Hemel Hempstead. He opened up a greengrocer’s shop, with my grandmother doing the floristry side of things that grew and did well.

They soon moved from the town, further out into the countryside, and this homestead is where my main memories of him come into play . . .

He was Pa Larkin – there was always the bulging veg patch, the Sunday lunches and huge spread teas in the afternoon, shared with as many family members as possible . . . Us jumping on him, and him ‘giving us whiskers!’

He was soft hearted, and instead of demanding debts be settled in cash, often took goods in exchange – vans, chickens – you name it. This soft heart extended to animals, and he could never see an animal that was being mistreated . . .

He would go to the horse market in Southall, and buy anything so that the meat man wouldn’t get them . . . every Wednesday he would come back with a couple of new horses, much to my Grandmothers annoyance.

Quite often with these horses came carts, and gigs, and all the tack to go with them . . . this is my favourite memory of him . . . coming to collect us on a Sunday morning, the sound of horses hooves on tarmac signalling his arrival, and us rushing out to jump on to be taken along to the house, and lunch . . . His smiling face as we trotted along, holding all the traffic up, us giggling away . . .

Ill health got to him though, and once whilst fixing a roof, he fell through, and was left hanging for hours – it was that shock that the doctors said lead to his diabetes, but the heart condition was bought on by years of early starts, and post war rich food . . .

They eventually moved out of the homestead, as it became too much for them both, and when my grandmother died (she had always been the healthy one) he became bitter at the world that it had not been him . . .

I will always remember the good times with him, and times we shared with the horses, and in the garden . . . not the broken man he ended up being . . .

 

Grand-daddies little girl . . . Part 1 . . .

Grand-daddies little girl . . . Part 1 . . .

One of my co-workers very suddenly lost her grandfather, and it has made me think a lot about my wonderful ones . . .

Most of us reminisce about out Grandmothers - baking, sewing, their button tins ;) . . . and tend to overlook the Grandfathers . . . However, I can safely say that I totally adored both of mine, and on looking back, can remember the most unusual things about them . . . So before time moves on, and I forget all of these wonderful nuances, I'm going to write these two blogs for them . . .

Grandad George

Born in 1919, Grandad George was born within the sound of Bow Bells, and until the age of fourteen slept in a chair next to a fireplace . . . the fact that he never had a bed of his own shocked me when I heard this age eighteen.

Trained as a cobbler, he entered the Second World War as a machine gunner, and saw action on the D-Day beaches, something that he never once spoke about to me. He obviously enjoyed himself though, with photos of him and his comrades larking about during their time at camp.

A quiet gentle giant he was always such a gentleman . . .

His hands and nails were always immaculate, shoes polished, clothes spic and span . . . always close shaved, and smelling of Lifebuoy Soap and cigarettes, although his brand of choice eludes me . . .

He and his wife moved from London to give their young family a better start after the war - the new town Hemel Hempstead became their home, and he worked hard at the Vauxhall car plant in Luton. Soon enough, they had their own home, with very neat flower beds, roses, a lawn, a veg patch and a garden shed - the place where my memories of him are compounded by the wonderful smell of creosote and earth . .. The box that he made to insulate the outside tap so it wouldn't freeze, the oil tray that he kept under the car engine so it didn't damage the garage floor, and the wonderful deck chairs that until recently we still used . . .

The car trips we used to take to Weston, and the wind break, tea, rock and the vest, rolled up trousers and knotted hankie ensemble he would wear when he dug at the beach with us.

He became the sole carer for my grandmother when she became ill, and refused to put her into a home even when it was detrimental to his own health . . .

When he finally succumbed, he came into his own, but maybe looking back on it, it was due to his loneliness . . . He became a regular at bingo, winning a substantial amount of money, and going away on coach tours around the UK - once winning a fancy dress competition as dressing up as Carmen Miranda, complete with fruit!

When he died, he was the first of my grandparents to go . . .

He had two weeks previously been to see my Grandmother in the home for the first time, and then had been down to see my mum in her new home . . . it was as if he knew his time to move on had come, and he wanted to check that everyone was safe and settled . . .

I will never forget this wonderful gentle man, and the way he bought stability into my life . . .

Much love, Ax

Times, they are a changing . . .

So when Bob Dylan sang those immortal words back in 1964, I bet he didn’t think that they would be used in a blog by a 30 something woman about the changes going on in her life . . . I never fail to marvel at how small a world it really is nowadays, and how popular culture immerses itself into our day to day lives.

Nothing has surprised me more than the growth and reach of ‘Seeded – Vintage Buttons and Haberdashery.’ When I started the Facebook page off back in September/ October of 2011, I never knew it would bring me so close to such amazing people around the world. It was really born from the fact that my day job had stagnated, and as far as I could see, it was going nowhere . . .

So, on a whim, I started this fantastic journey, that now incorporates buttons, and also Natterworkers . . .

However, things change, and also on another whim, I applied for, and got a job which I know is going to restrict my social networking time . . . It’s a huge step up for me, but I am really going to relish the challenge.

It’s a bitter sweet moment for me, but a great opportunity, as it also gives me the chance to take stock of how I work with Seeded and implement some changes . . . I have felt recently that my service standards aren’t where I would like them to be (massive fan of Michael Heppel here ;) ) and so I’m hoping to rectify this.

So, without further ado please find the following changes . . .

1.       Instead of weekly sales, there will be monthly button sales from May, on Facebook

2.       I will update all my Etsy listings, and this will be the main place that I post buttons from now on.

3.       If you have a special request for buttons, please do ask me, via Facebook or email  – I come alive when someone asks me for specific colours and styles, and I just love searching through the collections.

4.       I might be quiet on Facebook, but I am around – I can’t keep away from you lovely lot, and I really don’t want to miss out on any friendships I have gained there . . .

5.       It may also take me a little longer to come back to you, but please do be assured I will do ;)

I hope that makes sense, and if not please do shout . . . only time will tell if this will work out, but I have everything crossed ;)

Much love, Ax

Addicted to the tinterweb ...

So here I am in France, and I find myself craving the instant gratification of information I normally have access to when I am at home . . . You just boot up the computer, and there is a whole world of information at your fingertips ...It has really surprised me that it's got such a hold on me . . . My first brush with the world wide web was sending an email to a friend who was traveling around after uni . . . Before then it's was a complex system of post restraints across the world, and sitting and waiting for the next instalment of news ... From that moment on, I was hooked . . . And this was the time of dial up connections that would take forever, and kick you out whenever . . . For me, the web has opened up worlds that I never knew existed, stalls arguments mid-flow (long live Goolge!) and has connected me with friend new and old. It also enables me to write these random, rambling blogs ;) So, without much further ado, and having got my fix for the day, here's to the power of the world wide web! Cheers!

Burning that Bra . . .

When I step back and look at my life, I must admit I am happy with it. Great husband, lovely house (well I think so anyway), okish job . . . but realistically, I still want more. I still want to be able to hold down that job, have a family and be home in time to cook a dinner . . . isn’t that what being a woman is all about? The never ending run of multi-tasking?

Isn’t that what women burnt their bras for, campaigned for the pill and the vote for? For more equality, independence and choice as women?

In essence, we have so much more in our lives, but to what cost, and to what effect? We still see cases of discrimination in the workplace, and up until last year (when I experienced my first case of sexual discrimination), I had lived in a bubble, where I truly believed I was equal to any man (completely down to my fantastic upbringing) . . . It’s not until you have first-hand experience of this antiquated way of thinking that it really makes you consider it. . . I was honestly shocked that someone still thought that way . . . it shook me to my core . . .

However, as well as feeling equal, and completely in charge of my career and body, I do have that feeling of guilty pleasure in home making – at Christmas I was so excited about getting a Kenwood mixer, that I could audibly here feminists of times gone by turning over in their graves . . .

But why should I feel this way . . . they gave me the ability to have this life where I could choose to do what I wished and when, to be financially independent, and in control of my reproductive system. Surely that’s no bad thing . . . I thank them for that!

That is until you read an article like the one in today’s Daily Mail http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2114842/Death-Domestic-Goddess-Traditional-baking-sewing-homemaking-skills-dying-new-mothers-busy-learn.html  (yes I appreciate that it is in the Daily Mail, but realistically the argument here is that they still obviously think that there is a market for this kind of article!)

It focusses on the fact that nowadays many women cannot perform simple household tasks, and that they aren’t being passed down to the next generation. Based on the list of skills I was glad to say that I can do most of them (starching a shirt still eludes me, but hey ho, Mr Seeded can whistle for that . . .)

I do think it’s bad that I will throw away a pair of socks, rather than darn them, and perhaps buy pre-made pastry if I run out of time . . . but actually that is of little consequence . . .

Because I am able to work, and have financial independence, I have so much more to offer the community I live in as a whole, and gives me the opportunity to explore areas of interest to me i.e. crafts, travel, books etc.  simultaneously feeding the economy in a recession . . .

If buying pastry is a bad thing, well so be it . . . I am not going to be a slave to a 1950s view of home (although I reserve the right to wear a chichi pinni if I so choose), just because a group of researchers say that certain skills are being lost. If people really needed these skills, they would make time to learn them, but realistically there are other alternatives avalaible now.

Articles like this highlight the clashes in many women’s lives (in that they feel they can’t do it all, although they really want to), thus highlighting our potential short comings as home makers and carers, and thus degrading us further . . .

Instead of an article highlighting our failings, how about one which looks at what men can now do, and the drive towards equality in everything . . . Mr Seeded loves to cook, is not too bad about popping on a wash, and could sew on a button if push came to shove . . .

Wouldn’t that be a better way of highlighting what society has gained, rather than what we are losing?

And if Mr Seeded and I are lucky enough to have a family, it will be down to both of us to pass these learnt skills on to future Seedlings, as a joint family unit.

Rant over ;) Thanks for sticking with it, if you did . . . ;)

Much love, Ax

Matryoshka . . .

A Matryoshka doll is a Russian nesting doll, where the largest is the outside doll (traditionally dressed in a Sarafan, a Russian pinafore dress), and the smallest is the final baby doll in the centre made from a single piece of wood. I love these brightly and intricately painted dolls, as you might have seen from my Etsy Treasury today . . . http://www.etsy.com/treasury/MTY1MzcxNDV8MjM2Nzc1NTk2Mg/matryoshka

I still have mine from when I was little – I found them in the bottom of my stocking one Christmas (which one I cannot remember) and not only loved their design, but the tactile smoothness of their highly lacquered shape. I would spend hours arranging them and rearranging them.

This morning though, I began to look at them in a different way – it had never even occurred to me that by opening one, you were stripping away a layer to reveal another one . . . not quite sure why I had never thought of this, as I’m very aware of the ‘Onion’ analogy.

I also began to think of them in another way too . . . at the moment, I feel a bit like that little baby doll, right in the very middle, on the start of a journey . . . I’m busy trying to build up my layers, not only in experience, but in emotional armour and stamina, so that soon I will be back to being the outside doll, with all these experiences and layers to fall back on . . . It’s a very exciting time for me . . . but it has also been rather frustrating, as I’m not sure if I’m coming or going . . .

Thanks for hanging in there with me – it’s great to have you along for the journey too.

Much love, Ax

Natterworking . . .

There is nothing more important in my mind, when you are a small business, than getting to know other businesses in the area that are probably in the same boat . . . the support and knowledge that you can combine and fall back on is second to none . . .

However, being fairly shy and careful about whom I get to know and spend time with, the idea of ‘networking’ fills me with complete dread!

I feel that the term ‘networking’ implies that you want something from someone, and are not bothered about getting to know the individual . . . it’s a cold process, all about how your business can benefit from someone else’s connections, and that has never sat very comfortably with me . . . don’t get me wrong, I think it’s great if you do end up mutually benefitting from one another, but I like to get to know the individual first and foremost . . .

So, this weekend just past, I hosted a ‘coffee get together’ for a couple of local Facebook pages, who I had the pleasure of getting to know through this crazy world wide web . . .

I know this sounds daft, but I did consider cancelling on the morning, as I felt so nervous about it all . . . the thought of having to make small talk brought me out in a cold sweat . . . what if I hadn’t got the right drinks and cakes (I had unfortunately run out of time to home bake, so off to Co-Op it was ;)) . . . what if we had nothing to talk about and there was constant silent pauses . . .

I needn’t have worried in the slightest though . . . the ladies that came around (Claire from Design at No 11 (http://www.facebook.com/DesignatNo.11 or  http://www.designatno11.co.uk) Leanne from Kissmycake (http://www.facebook.com/pages/Southsea-Bridal-Boot-Fair/150972208310468 or  http://www.kissmycake.co.uk) and Sarah from the Southsea Bridal Boot Fair (http://www.facebook.com/pages/Southsea-Bridal-Boot-Fair/150972208310468) were fabulous, and we talked and talked about anything and everything . . . and could have gone on all day given the chance ;)

I have now coined a new term, which I am much more comfortable with, ‘natterworking.’ I think you can see where I am going with this, but it was great to have a natter, and chat through new ideas, and give support where needed . . .

I’m hoping that everyone else felt the same way, and I know we are planning to meet up again, hopefully in a month’s time . . . so watch this space . . . this natterworking group is on the move ;)

Much love, Ax

Getting organised . . .

I am a stereotypical Virgo.  On the plus side, I am modest and shy, meticulous and reliable, practical and diligent, intelligent and analytical . . . on the minus side I’m fussy and a worrier, overcritical and harsh, perfectionist and conservative . . . and don’t talk to me about change!

The other major thing though is that I have Leo rising in my chart . . . this means at the time of my birth, Leo was on the eastern horizon . . . all fascinating stuff, especially when you consider that it describes the way I engage with the outer world . . . apparently I  have ‘a natural flair for presentation, an eye for quality, and a hard-to-resist warmth of style,’ and I ‘want to make things happen, and create a stir (http://www.cafeastrology.com/leo_ascendantrisingsign.html) .’

However, the downside to all of this is that I am incredibly messy! It gets to the stage sometimes, that I am so stressed out by the mess I have created, that I throw a massive tantrum, blame anyone and everyone, and then feel incredibly guilty that I have been so irrational! Ah, what a wonderful mix that Virgo/ Leo blend makes . . .

So when it comes to getting this mess organised, I set about it like a woman possessed during a military campaign . . .bin bags, Dettol spray, piles for this, piles for that . . . I love to sort, and de-clutter . . . I regularly life laundry . . . unlike Mr Seeded, who still has t-shirts he first got when he was twelve . . . I just have to keep on top of the boredom factor, and make sure that I don’t reason that it would be a good time to procrastinate halfway through a major tidy . . .

Anyway, back to getting organised . . . I recently had to de-clutter my work room – it had become a combination of a dumping ground/ laundry, and I had begun to take over the rest of the house with all my buttons. It got to the stage where Mr Seeded said ‘no more buttons!’ Now obviously this was never going to happen so . . . Operation Mass Clean began . . . it only took a couple of hours, but boy did I feel so much better!

So, with spring hopefully on the horizon, I thought I would share with you a couple of websites that I LOVE for organisational tips and hints to inspire and motivate you.

Martha Stewart is a goddess in my opinion . . . OK, there was that brief spell in prison for tax evasion, but hey – this woman knows how to organise!!!

Here are a couple of fab links that you MUST look at:-

Ribbon organisation - http://www.marthastewart.com/851279/craft-materials-and-techniques/@center/856229/ask-martha#/215282

Keeping matching sheets together. When I first saw this, I was mesmerised . . . It also helped, as it meant I de-cluttered my linen closet of all of those odds and ends of bedlinen that have no matching partner. http://www.marthastewart.com/274903/25-closet-storage-and-office-organizers/@center/276989/organizing

Tidy cords – a major bug bear of mine . . . http://www.marthastewart.com/274903/25-closet-storage-and-office-organizers/@center/276989/organizing#/167531

I have hundreds of glass baubles, and this was an epiphany in terms of how to keep them safe and sound till next Christmas http://www.marthastewart.com/274903/25-closet-storage-and-office-organizers/@center/276989/organizing#/272877

I LOVE a checklist, and the other thing I drool over on Martha’s site is that they have printable templates and checklists for everything – why reinvent the wheel, I ask you . . . http://www.marthastewart.com/274764/cleaning-checklists/@center/276998/organizing-checklists

And finally, just a few websites where you can find fabulous organisational products:-

·         http://www.lakeland.co.uk – well, I had to really!

·         http://www.muji.eu – my all-time favourite!

·         http://www.gardentrading.co.uk – fabulous enamel wear

·         http://www.coxandcox.co.uk – lots of yumminess . . .

So, having had a read through all of these, I hope you are now inspired – would love to hear any hints or tips you may have, or any links to websites I don’t know about  . . .

Much love, Ax

Its not about ideas . . .

http://pinterest.com/pin/248401735667028536/

I saw this today and thought 'BINGO! theres my next blog post!'

Short and sweet, this sums up everything! Its not what you do, its how you do it . . . on that note, Im off to do ;)

Taking care of me . . .

I don’t feel like writing a blog this week, but I’m torn between having made to commitment to myself that I would, and that I just want to go off and curl up into a ball and take care of me . . .

Yes, I’m a complex little bean . . . My sense of responsibility completely overrides the fact that sometimes I just need a little bit of TLC . . .

It all started last night – I had a crappy day at work, Mr Seeded rather helpfully pointed out that the oven was hot after I had burnt myself, and then my mother confirmed they were coming to stay this weekend . . . I love them dearly, but after last Decembers nine hour round trip back to Carmarthenshire to take them home after they both fell ill (both have multiple on going conditions), I can just do without the stress of it happening again . . . I’m not doing so well on that new year’s bucket list entry huh? (See The Final Bucket List Blog here  http://seededthoughts.blogspot.com/2012/01/final-bucket-list-for-2012.html)

I’m going to treat myself to a yummy lunch, buy some wool from Crocus in Ryde http://www.crocusinteriors.com/(which I will probably never use, but there’s another challenge in its self!), and just generally perk myself up. If I wasn’t at work, I would TOTALLY be having a duvet day . . .

Hope you are all well . . . Sorry it’s a short entry this week, but I really don’t want to put you off reading my blog, and I can’t stand self-pity ;)

Much love, Ax

The art of procrastination . . .

The one thing I am fabulously brilliant at, is procrastinating . . . I can do it at any time, and anywhere . . . I’m a natural born procrastinator . . . and you know what? I’m comfortable with it!

I wasn’t always this brazen about my procrastination skills, and it’s taken a lot of time (and hard work), to get to the stage where I’m happy with them.

The penny really dropped when I read the fabulous book by Sark ‘Make Your Creative Dreams Real,’ (www.planetsark.com) which actually said it was OK to procrastinate . . .

‘What?’ I thought, 'how can this be?'

The more I read, the more sense it made to me – everyone procrastinated, and I wasn’t alone, and there was no cure for it. Most of all, I came to realise was that it was a trigger for major anxiety for me . . .

 At the age of five I would bimble around in the morning before school, doing anything other than getting ready, and then have a major panic that I would be late . . . I can still remember arriving sobbing because I thought I was going to be late, and the last one in the class . . . I was never late, but was always the last one because we lived further away than everyone else, and had to drive. . . (my poor mother, I often wonder how she coped with this dreamy, highly strung individual . . .)

Later on in life, I would set out the most wonderful revision timetable, make flash cards to go in the new card index box that I had decorated, then go into a major tailspin the night before an exam . . . I always passed, but always felt guilty that I could have done better if I had put more into revising. . .

And here I am today . . . once again putting everything possible off, so I can write this . . . The difference is that now, I have a structured approach, and know that I need this to help me day to day.

So, here are my top tips for controlling the art of procrastinating . . .

1.       It’s OK to procrastinate!  Read Sark’s fabulous book –she has many other wonderful books, all written and illustrated in her own particular style . . . my other favourite of hers is . . . actually there are three, I just can’t choose  . . . ‘Glad No Matter What,’ ‘Prosperity Pie’ and ‘Eat Mangoes Naked.’ All are available via Amazon.

2.       Be effective with the time you have. Write a list of the most important tasks, and see which ones will take the longest, and which ones you can put off to another time  . . . then write a note next to those ones, detailing how it will impact on your life and the knock on effects if you don’t do them now – always a fabulous wakeup call! It’s amazing how much you can deceive yourself, when push comes to shove . . .

3.       Reward yourself. The most important thing here is to cross completed tasks off the list once they have been done – this gives you a huge sense of achievement . . . And what if I haven’t managed to do anything on that list? I add something that I have done, just so I can cross it off - daft I know, but it gives me that fabulous feel good factor!

4.       Don’t overload yourself – I am infamous for taking on everything I can, as I can multitask like no one’s business . . . This is great, as I love being busy, but what it’s not great for is getting things done . . . So the key here is to say no when I feel comfortable with doing so . . . and give yourself effective timelines when you cant . . .

5.       Be kind to yourself. Over the years I have realised that my moods and health are integral to my effectiveness – if I’m feeling low, then there is no way I’m going to get anything done.  So, a big thing is to pick your moment when you know you are going to be completely effective . . . And if you are feeling low – do something you want to! Be kind to yourself!

It’s all about the coping strategies in life . . .

On a day to day basis, these have all helped me – I’m not saying I have cured myself, as that would be impossible, but what I have managed to do is to stop that horrible feeling of being totally overwhelmed, that in turn leads to episodes of horrendous anxiety and self-doubt . . . and that in itself is a huge, huge relief . . .

Much love, Ax

The final bucket list for 2012

At the end of 2011, I spent a lot of time thinking about what I wanted to change in 2012, and how I wanted it to be. As part of this process, I asked a lot of people what their resolutions were, in the vain hope that they would inspire me . . .

I came up with one main conclusion - I know a lot of inspiring people! It was wonderful to read about peoples hopes and dreams for the new year, and I decided to write a bucket list for 2012, to really make sure I make the most of it - I don't know about you, but I often find that a year flashes by without me really thinking about it . . .

So after many hours of thinking, and procrastinating (I am an expert in this area!), and wondering whether I would really keep a diary if push came to shove, if I really could give up eating chocolate, and drinking red wine, I came up with the following:-

1. Be kinder to myself - recognise when I need time to myself and when people are taking more than I feel comfortable with . . . I'm a natural giver, and find it a real struggle to say no sometimes, without the major guilt trip after . . .
2. Take time to enjoy the small things in life . . . be it a cup of tea made by Mr Seeded every morning, or a simple smile in the street from a stranger . . .
3. Make more time for family, and really get to know my parents as individuals, rather than parents . . . both live quite far away, and I really want to make sure that we don't lose our links as my life gets busier and more hectic . . .
4. Be inspired daily by others and the beauty around me - really take time to smell the sea air, appreciate the colours in nature that are immediately around me . . .
5. Get creative! I have an art degree which I do nothing with, and its about time I start using it . . . I have no idea where to start, but this is the year!

So, that's it for now . . . I'm hoping that this time next year I will be looking back thinking 'yep, I did it, and I did it well . . .'

Love to you all, Ax